A lot of my articles are about my room mates, and how they are a fistful of arseholes (one of which blocked the toilet earlier today may i add). however, i feel i’ve been a little unfair and so today i have written why they, and my other friends, must find me incredibly irritating.
I once played “i gotta pocket full of sunshine” - natasha beddingfield for six straight hours on full volume.
and then played it on the telly in the living room for a little while longer.
I won’t let them use my playstation’s as i am usually on them.
and when they try to talk to me i get mad and tell them to shut up and stop distracting me or i’ll chuck the remote at their face.
I forget to reply to my friends, and then complain i have no friends.
Here are several different examples, all from different individuals i accidently ignore.
at first they text me like:
and:
and when i do reply:
or:
or i complain until they stop texting me real replies like:
so, now most of my texts are like this:
or this:
and eventually…:
I am usually awake until the early hours of the morning, and i’m not quiet about it. For example, I forget that whilst I am shouting up the stairs if anyone would like a cup of tea at 3am, that one of the other five people in the house may actually be sleeping. I have figured this out because the last time I did ask anyone if they wanted an early morning beverage at the top of my voice, one of them came out of their room and mumbled something that sounded like “i’m going to hit you with a brick”.
I spend the most time in the shower and getting ready.
I’m not even sorry about this one, I’m a girl, you are all a bunch of neanderthals.
I order a lot of things online and somebody else has to get out of bed to go answer the post man.
I have not once been the one to open the door to the postman. I’m pretty sure he thinks the majority of my room mates are transvestites who use my name as their stage name.
I’m really picky.
What do a house full of guys like to live off? I don’t like most kinds of pizza, I don’t like cake, I don’t like crisps and I don’t like beer too much. Now, they buy me wine and we have fajitas fridays. So, I’ve pretty much turned all my housemates a little bit gay… and mexican.
I meow and make silly noises a lot.
A lot. And not in a cute way, in a batshit crazy way.
I have absolutely no helpful advice to give them on females.
I know less than they do; they ask me “how do i get a girlfriend?!” and I usually say “stop being a whiny bitch and then make me a cup of tea”.
I can get them to do things for me by making a sad face.
Most girls know they can do this, and it is borderline evil, but I for example, am really lazy. So if i wake up and want a coffee, I might accidentally maybe on purpose do the sad face until one of them makes me a coffee. Maybe. Most days.
I don’t like going outside on my own.
I live in the ghetto of the worst city in the united kingdom. If someone I know is nearby, they are coming outside with me. Whether they just got out the shower, they’re on the phone with their mum or they broke a limb. Safety first. I correct their grammar and remind them about hygiene. Again, neanderthals.
One of my house mates once didn’t shower for two weeks, until I told him to.
I’m doing a public service.
