Aloha guys. September went by so fast! I’m still a graduate writer with a degree in The Internet who doesn’t have a ~~’proper job’~~ according to almost everyone I tell about it. I like writing for Lifehack! It is a job to me and I enjoy it, I wish people’d stop putting it down. I get some lovely messages from people all over the world telling me something I’ve shared has helped them in some way and that makes it more important to me than serving food when I was a waitress ever was. I will always put jobs in perspective due to those couple shifts I did as a silver service waitress because it was just awful.
This month is actually a bit of a blur, I’m only aware of how many days it’s been based on how long it’s been since I backed up Time Machine. There was one day where If I Were You, Welcome To Night Vale and Breaking Bad all came out on the same Monday. That was a highlight. Wow. Rosy’s birthday present finally came, that’s the first picture, I’ve got her locked down now. Also, April found my name on a Coke bottle! It does exist! I’ve been out a couple times and my social life is actually opening up a little bit, I guess? It’s always nice to see people you haven’t seen in a while. I got the closest I’ve ever been to being a journalist as well: someone I know went to prison for six years and the newspaper used a picture from my last birthday in all the papers and online… This month has actually been really weird now I think about it.
I went to Durham to see my platonic life partner Jonny and I stayed with his family who are the nicest people I’ve ever met. Not in a weird slightly creepy, overly nice way. They just genuinely are so lovely, I felt so at home with them. I’m going to write a little something for them a bit further down. We went around Newcastle, I got to sit in my pyjamas all day whilst we had a BBQ and got tormented by wasps, we even had a horror movie night. I got to go to the courtyard of Durham Cathedral where they filmed some of Harry Potter as well. So from now I’m just going to tell myself and everyone I ever meet that I have been to Hogwarts. I got nine trains in three days so that’s why in the few pictures there are of me I look like I’m sleep-deprived and messy. Because I was. Oh, we went to an arcade as well; I need to brush up on my Time Crisis and bike game skills. So if anyone wants to go do that I am down.
I’m not very good with being honest and vocal about my emotions or the stuff that’s really real and raw in my life, but since I think they’ll read this at some point I just wanted to really say thank you to Jonny and his family. I’ve been struggling with my mental health issues and just my life in general recently, I’ve had a lot of set backs and it really has been so difficult. Especially since one of my best friends in the whole world is so far away. But going up to Durham and staying with Jonny and his family really helped me in more ways than I could possibly list. I’d never met his family in person before but they made me feel so comfortable and even loved in a strange way as well? I felt warmth for the first time in months, like I wasn’t surrounded by people that hated me or were disappointed in me or were inevitably going to hurt or abandon me. I didn’t feel like I was being weak or pathetic by admitting how much I was struggling, and the sort of ridicule I expect to get from most people didn’t even cross my mind. They even made me start thinking positively about myself again, their kindness was like the foundation for me to be able to get up, be strong and start fighting again. I will always be so grateful for that because I think I was forgetting what any of that felt like, I was forgetting what it was like to feel safe and understood even within myself. Even though I’m not up there with them anymore I know that when I’m at my worst I can call them and they’ll help me without judgement and that’s so comforting to know. They’re my Durham family even if they don’t want to be, they are. They’re stuck with me now. Suckers. But seriously, thank you so much Jonny and everyone, I love you guys. If there is anything I can ever do to help your family the way you’ve helped me you know where to find me. You are genuinely good, welcoming, lovely, wonderful people. But you probably already know that, I’ll stop being gross now. It was also both of my sibling’s birthdays; Jacob turned 20 and Isobel turned 7. We went to The Deep and saw sharks for Isobel’s birthday. I think we just ate loads of food for Jake’s. I also went down to Nottingham so my nan could get radiation blasted on her foot. Those linac machines things are amazing. I like to think my nan’s secretly being transformed into a superhero. Or villain. Now for a collage of my super massive face, woo:
From top left to bottom left: I dyed my ears pink again, in Newcastle looking like a mess, my name is real, gross Sunday morning face, the best Sex On The Beach cocktail I’ve ever had ever, home watching Buffy in my pyjamas before 1am on a Saturday night because I’m a fun 21 year old and I went outside looking like a hobo because it’s cold.
What else have I done this month? Err. I’ve applied for about 835906830 secretary and waitressing jobs. I spent somewhere between two hours and five thousand years doing Next applications. Breaking Bad ended and I don’t think I can ever love again, although The Walking Dead and American Horror Story: Coven start soon! OH, it’s Halloween next month and I’m actually in the country this year! I don’t want to be mature I want to dress up like a zombie or Babydoll or an Aperture Test Subject or something. Yay. It’s also been really strange not starting some sort of education this month, that hasn’t happened since I was four. That’s seventeen years, shit. I think I’m just writing for the sake of it now, I’ll stop.