Earlier this week, I went to see Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice!
Now firstly, I must tell you that I am by no means a DC fanatic. I thoroughly enjoyed Man of Steel and I love the Dark Knight trilogy - though I’m still not keen on Dark Knight Rises - however the only other DC movies I’ve ever seen are Green Lantern, Superman Returns and the Batman movie featuring the Penguin, which scared the crap out of me as a child. I’ve never even touched a DC comic so needless to say, I have about as much knowledge about Batman V Superman as I do quantum mechanics.
Secondly, this review is packed full of spoilers so if you haven’t yet seen Batman V Superman, you need to barrel roll away from this article, go see the movie and then come back to read on.
You’ve been warned. Now, let’s watch a montage of trailers and get all excited!
As far as I’m aware, the only prequel to Batman V Superman is Man of Steel as IMBD states there is no connection between the Nolan universe and this new Batman. Although I’m sure many critics will dislike DC Comics and Warner Brothers’ decision to jump right into cross-overs after just one movie, I actually think this was a wise decision.
I don’t know about you guys, but I’ve had Marvel movie fatigue since Thor 2 was released. I’ve loved (almost) every single Marvel film up to this date, but I seriously don’t think the general public could deal with another 28502 origin story movies being released by DC as well.
Even us casual fans know the basics about Batman and Superman, and although we are almost certainly missing out on crucial, exhilarating storylines there’s a risk of oversaturating the comic book movie market to the point where we don’t care anymore.
Besides, this movie alone has more than enough content to keep you satisfied. There are plenty of character introductions, intricate story lines and a Hell of a lot of action, all packed somewhat cleverly into a 150 minute movie. For instance, by now almost all of us are aware of Batman’s origin story so the pivotal points of how Mr and Mrs Wayne (Glen’s gf in The Walking Dead) died and why Bruce ended up in a well are covered in the opening sequence.
So as long as you pay attention, and you really need to as they definitely do not spoon feed you the plot, you should be able to keep up. That said, I can see why some people may have had difficulty staying locked in due to the abundant plot jumps, but there’s so much action you’re always immersed.
Now, on to the characters. Firstly, let me tell you I love Ben Affleck as Batman. I mean I love him. I would frick frack with that bat any day. Don’t get me wrong, when Affleck was first revealed as the new Batman I was a little… dubious.
Ben Affleck is going to be Batman… I am going to set fire to everything. DID THEY NOT SEE DAREDEVIL?
— Siobhan Harmer (@Sibbyy) August 23, 2013
Having experienced the movie though, I’m more than willing to eat my own words because I’d go as far as saying he’s the best Batman ever. He’s gritty, badass and I’d definitely watch more movies starring Batfleck. I missed Michael Cain, of course, but Jeremy Irons was a wonderfully sassy Alfred.
Without a doubt, the biggest different between this Batman and previous incarnations is that this Batman kills. I’m talking straight up stabs a guy in the heart and blows multiple cars up kills. And do you know what? It’s about goddamn time. Sure, I find it difficult to truly believe in his moral high ground against criminals and Superman now, but it’s about time Batman grew some Batballs.
I’m far less versed in all things Superman, but Henry Cavill definitely portrayed a Superman I’m interested in seeing more of. For some reason I thought Superman was a bit of an arrogant, sulky superhero, but that doesn’t seem to be the case at all thankfully.
The character I was most impressed with though, was Wonder Woman (Gal Gadot). Based on the trailers, I was worried that Wonder Woman would be some flirty bimbo who’s thrown in at the end as an obvious nod to upcoming Justice League films. Fortunately, she appears throughout the movie making her motives and attitude abundantly clear: she’s super old, doesn’t want to get involved with human conflicts because we’re a bunch of nutters and shuts Bruce Wayne down faster than Superman does.
Lois Lane (Amy Adams) on the other hand, was the most disappointing character. She is almost always portrayed as a damsel, making strange decisions and looking like she’s on the brink of tears the entire time. I don’t know much about Lois’ character, but I was under the impression she’s supposed to be a ballsy journalist? I even thought Aquaman was going to have to come and save her at one point after she throws Batman’s Kryptonite spear in a random well for some unfathomable reason.
Lex Luthor (Jesse Eisenberg) is a combination of Brad Pitt’s character in Twelve Monkeys and Heath Ledger’s legendary portrayal of the Joker in The Dark Knight. He is undeniably irritating, but he’s supposed to be; you’re supposed to want to punch him in the face. After all, he is supposed to be the bad guy even if we’re not always sure why.
Neil DeGrasse Tyson, Nancy Grace and Anderson Cooper also appear in the movie, and I have to wonder: are the latter two actually in on the joke? I’m British, and even I know when American news hosts like them show up they’re representing a hysterical, fear-mongering rhetoric.
Of course, no movie is without flaws.
You’ll undoubtedly find yourself asking questions like why doesn’t Lex Luthor like Batman? We only know he hates Superman because, well, everybody knows that? I get the impression that Lex hates the idea of idolising Superman like a God, but then he seems to want to destroy humanity which seems very God-like? Plus, how do Clark and Bruce know each other’s true identities, and have Gotham and Metropolis always been that close? Clearly, the substance is a little patchy in places.
It’s very clear why Bruce Wayne hates Superman. From his perspective, the alien bloke had no concern about human lives whilst he smashed through buildings. Said buildings include a Wayne tower where many of Bruce’s Metropolis-based employees are maimed or murdered. It’s a raw, personal hatred that motivates Batman to attack Superman.
A less intelligible plot point concerning Batman is the strange nightmare scene. For a second I thought Scarecrow was going to make an appearance, but that’s the only thing I remember thinking besides “eh?”. I’m sure the fans who know all the gritty details will thoroughly appreciate the ordeal, but I was baffled so I just went along with it.
I also found myself mentally submitting to many of the antics that occur in the alien spacecraft - which we totally shouldn’t have been trusted with wtf. There’s super stupid AI, weird murky water, a uterus where Lex can make a baby with the ship: just nod and agree. One piece that does fit nicely into the plot though is the fact Lex is apparently taught everything about everything in the universe, which is worrying.
Lex also has data concerning some other DC favourites: Aquaman, Flash and Cyborg. I don’t blame you if you’ve never heard of the last guy, I had to google who it was because I had no idea. Somehow, Zack Snyder has made Aquaman (Jason Momoa - all the heart eyes) look badass, though his seen was reminiscent of an Herbal Essences commercial, so I’m looking forward to more Aquaman for whole new reasons other than hilarity.
Batman V Superman: Ding ding ding!
Now on to the really good stuff: Batman and Superman kicking the crap out of each other. The two protagonists meet a few times before the big fight, and each time their rivalry becomes significantly more tense.
When Lex kidnaps Superman’s mum - fyi don’t fuck with Superman’s mum - the ultimate battle of man v God, night v day begins. It is by far one the best fight scenes ever featured in a comic book movie, packed with twists and surprises. Ever since the concept of Batman fighting Superman was first introduced to me I’ve been unable to see how Batman could actually beat Superman, but he does. Using gadgets and intellect, Batman kicks Superman’s ass and could have easily killed him.
Before he does, Superman and Batman become super friends after finding out their mums have the same name. Although this seemed a little silly at first, this simple coincidence carries huge significance as Batman finally sees Superman as a human, a man with a mother just like him. That said, there was no need for the flashback: we remember Batman’s mum was also called Martha we’re not idiots.
Batman saves Martha in an epic battle against the baddies that makes even the final fight against Doomsday seem lacklustre. The Doomsday fight starts off well and is consistently exciting, though a little confusing in places. Specifically, I’m confused as to why Superman had to stab Doomsday with Batman’s Kryptonite spear. Sure Wonder Woman was dealing with her Lasso of Truth or whatever it’s called, but she’s an Amazon: isn’t spear throwing part of her repertoire?
Finally, we reach the most contentious point of this movie: the bit where Superman dies. Firstly, he’s obviously not dead so get your panties out of a bunch. Secondly, everyone hated Superman - except maybe those who built that massive statue and the Mexicans - so I don’t know why everyone was so uppity when he ‘died’. That said, I live in England where it may or may not be illegal to clap, whoop or even cry in the cinema, and even we whispered to each other in horror when Batman passed Superman’s lifeless body to Wonder Woman. It sure was a convincing death, even if it wasn’t entirely necessary or the smartest thing to do.
To sum up this chat that was originally made up of seven bullet points and has somehow turned into a 1800+ word piece: I loved Batman V Superman. For those who worry that the DC Comics movie franchise is being rushed, they might make prequels to pad out the characters and plots a little more. For now though, Batman V Superman is a fantastic building block that will draw millions of new fans to upcoming DC movies. Yes, some parts fall flat and others are a little confusing, but overall I was left satisfied. This movie has the best Batman action ever seen on-screen, the best entrance to the Batcave, a badass Wonder Woman, loud music and epic fight scenes (yes, I’m a Neanderthal): this movie had it all.
What did you think of the movie? Let me know in the comments!
