Hello everyone! Blogmas Day 16 is here which means it’s only nine days until Christmas. Have you gotten everything you need? I went back into town earlier this afternoon to get my last bits and bobs, so I think I’m all set.
Today I thought I’d share one of my favourite things about Christmas Day, and that is Christmas jokes. Christmas jokes are so bad they are amazing, and that is precisely my sense of humour so I’ve always thoroughly enjoyed them. Here are some of my favourites!
Why does Santa have three gardens?
So he can ‘ho ho ho’
What does Miley Cyrus have at Christmas?
Twerky
What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer
Why did Santa’s helper see the doctor?
Because he had a low “elf” esteem
What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar?
He got 25 days
What is the best Christmas present in the world?
A broken drum, you just can’t beat it
How did Scrooge win the football game?
The ghost of Christmas passed
Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?
Santa Jaws
Who is Santa’s favorite singer?
Elf-is Presley.
What do Santa’s little helpers learn at school?
The elf-abet
What did Santa say to the smoker?
Please don’t smoke, it’s bad for my elf
What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
Horn-aments
Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing?
They always drop their needles
Did Rudolph go to school?
No. He was Elf-taught
Why did the turkey join the band?
Because it had the drumsticks
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps
How do snowmen get around?
They ride an icicle
How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?
One that’s deep pan, crisp and even
Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
A mince spy
What do you call a cat in the desert?
Sandy Claws
What did Adam say to his wife on the day before Christmas?
It’s Christmas, Eve
How many letters are in the Christmas alphabet?
25, There’s “no EL”
What carol is heard in the desert?
O camel ye faithful!
What do angry mice send to each other at Christmas?
Cross Mouse Cards
What athlete is warmest in winter?
A long jumper
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
Tinsilitis
What did the beaver say to the Christmas Tree?
Nice gnawing you
What’s green, covered in tinsel and goes ribbet ribbet?
Mistle-toad
What did the stamp say to the Christmas card?
Stick with me and we’ll go places
Why did no one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay?
Because they were two deer
What does the Queen call her Christmas Broadcast?
The One Show
What did Father Christmas do when he went speed dating?
He pulled a cracker
How did Mary and Joseph know that Jesus was 7lb 6oz when he was born?
They had a weigh in a manger
Why is it getting harder to buy Advent calendars?
Because their days are numbered