Okay, are you ready?
Am I ready?
You won’t hurt me like Gossip Girl hurt me, will you Pretty Little Liars?
Is this what Stockholm Syndrome feels like?
Why are the Liar’s in Radley AGAIN?
Why has no one burnt this shithole to the ground?
It’s a goddamn flashback, isn’t it?
Why is Ali’s whole entire wardrobe yellow?
Does she own a minion costume?
“PLEASE DON’T DO THIS” said Ali, because why would she want her torturer to die right?
“Just because we know who you are doesn’t mean the game is over”?
Why doesn’t it Spencer?
Do you want the game to continue?
Is Spencer still high?
Holy shit, is that an American cop actively not shooting someone?
Why don’t you just shut up Aria?
UNDERSTAND, HANNA?
REALLY?
I think I’m getting hysterical already?
Why haven’t I downloaded the theme tune to this show yet?
It’s been five goddamn years?
Oh good, we’re back at the insensitively themed prom again?
Who chose this theme?
Will the wine moms ever get out of the basement?
I wouldn’t trust Toby to escort me out of a bouncy castle safely never mind this prom thing?
So they know that Ali has been kidnapped?
Yes, go towards the ominous opening in the fence, that has always gone so well for you in the past?
I actually agree with Emily for once, what is happening?
Ah, see! Did anyone else notice a distinct lack of Mona in the last episode?
Ahahaha, yeah Aria, why are you so dumb?
What the hell is ‘snarfing’?
That was a weird time for Charles’ cellular network to be triangulated?
Can you tell I don’t know what any of that means?
Ali’s make-up is abrasive to the eyes, can I sue?
Why did A knock Ali out when she already knew who A was and would recognise Radley?
I mean, I even now that’s Radley and I don’t understand anything that’s happening?
What is in those bags?
I don’t know Emily, I’m not bag psychic?
Why wait for the police, eh?
SEPTEMBER 7TH IS MY BROTHER’S BIRTHDAY?
IS JACOB A?
The fuck is this room?
Does A stand for Aliens?
Sara Harvey, you bellend! More like Shady Harvey, am I right?
Of course Sara is evil; how have the Liars not realised everyone they trust is bad yet?
How did Mona have time to do that eye make-up if she’s been following Ali since yesterday morning?
Where the hell are these cameras in the room, up Ali’s nose?
ARE WE REALLY GOING TO FIND OUT WHO A IS?
COULD THIS BE REAL?
…?
WHO EVEN IS THAT?
OH, CECE?
WAIT, CECE?
Why is she singing?
That was weird?
All the bows and crowns are coming off, is it business time?
Ah, so CeCe is Charles who was born a boy but transitioned into a girl?
Yes Mrs D, what a splendid idea to leave your newborn alone with an infant. What could go wrong?
Why was Mrs D ever allowed to keep any of her children?
Even the baby is wearing fucking yellow?
Child actors are so bad, who hires these kids?
Why would you get your child help when you can lock him in a nuthouse?
Oh, because he’s transgender?
That’s… problematic?
How have Jason and Mr D’s eyes not dried out?
That has to be the worst part, surely?
Who lets kids on the roof unaccompanied anywhere, never mind an insane asylum?
Why would Marion give a shit whether Charles was dressed like a girl?
So, Charles was twelve when Marion was killed?
Rosy and I looked at the timeline and Marion was killed in 2007?
And there’s a flashback where Ali meets Marion as a teenager?
What?
Is Bethany the real villain?
Mrs D gave Bethany a horse, why would she blame her son/daughter?
WHY ARE YOU SO UNGRATEFUL BETHANY?
How did Mrs D have the funds or power to pay Wilden off?
Wilden was already a cop when Charles was twelve?
But he graduated with Jason?
Wilden is an extremely mature pre-teen?
I realise the burial of Charles was metaphorical, but does this mean CeCe has a willy?
I’m pretty sure Jason would have noticed her willy whilst they were dating?
OH GOD JASON IS HER BROTHER?
DID JASON REALLY PUT THE D IN DILAURENTIS?
It’s really nice of CeCe to take breaks in her monologue so the Liars can give us updates, isn’t it?
JASON HAS THE HOTS FOR HIS SISTER?
How did CeCe become Prom Queen of Rosewood High?
She didn’t even go there?
Oh good, Jason and CeCe didn’t bone, that makes everything alright then?
They must have made out thought right?
What was CeCe’s game plan?
Just date her brother forever?
You know boys and girls can just be friends CeCe?
Other than this whole incest thing, CeCe isn’t really coming off as a psycho?
Why is she still in Radley?
MRS D TOLD HER HUSBAND CHARLES WAS DEAD?
Rude?
Was this the first time Ali and CeCe met because I thought they’d been friends for years?
Aw man, CeCe you fucked up, huh?
Why would Mrs D look at you CeCe, you just smashed your sister over the head with a rock?
Why is Mona crying?
Mona killed Bethany?
I thought Melissa killed Bethany?
Aren’t only 2% of the world’s population blonde, how have they all ended up in Rosewood?
I understand that Ali and CeCe had the same clothes, and Bethany stole CeCe’s, but how would Bethany have known what Ali was wearing?
And why would Mrs D give CeCe a bracelet that says ‘Alison’ on it?
Mona sent Ali a text saying ‘Tonight I kill you’ or something didn’t she?
Sounds pretty premeditated Mona?
Are we actually meant to be feeling bad for Mona and CeCe right now?
Mrs D is a diva, how does she have all this power?
Why would Spencer of all people want to leave mid-story?
At what point did CeCe/Ali push that girl down the stairs and get CeCe get kicked out of UPenn?
Yay! Okay, so this is where CeCe takes the game from Mona?
Have Mona and Hanna never had a conversation about the whole car thing?
OH GOD THOSE EFFECTS, HOW ARE THEY SO BRILLIANT?
CeCe just said she didn’t trust Mona, and yet trusted everything she told her?
WHO IS RED COAT?
Oh, it’s Sara?
Why would Sara help CeCe?
Wasn’t Sara kidnapped around the same time Ali was ‘murdered’?
Where was Sara throughout the first two seasons?
And all that time Aria was in Norway or wherever?
CeCe was still in Radley at that point?
What the hell?
Oh yeah, I forgot about Shana?
I thought CeCe was helping Ali whilst she was in hiding?
I don’t even understand what the game is anymore?
Or why CeCe even took the game in the first place?
WHO IS THE BLACK WIDOW?
Oh, Sara fucking Harvey again?
Is Sara just another crazy then?
I swear Spencer is operating on a higher frequency than all of us other lowly humans?
Where does one purchase such knife shoes, asking for a friend?
Put your shoes back on Mona, there’s glass everywhere?
Who killed Mrs D then?
How did the liar’s get there so fast?
WHO IS THAT?
GODDAMIT SARA?
So CeCe wanted to kill Ali after all?
CeCe has spent this whole time pretending to care about Ali but now she’s going to blow them up?
Then again, who wouldn’t blow up Radley?
“I tried to keep you safe!” Sara you do not understand words?
EMILY IS A BADASS?
Why have the liars forgiven this crazy bitch?
Is that all it takes for someone not to jump?
“Game Over”? Really? REALLY?
What’s Labor Day weekend actually for?
What in the name of God is Spencer wearing?
What happened to Sara that night?
Why is she not in prison?
Ali is wearing a necklace with the A symbol on it?
Everything Ali wears is tasteless?
Where they trying to make the actress look as old as the other actresses because they went way overboard?
How do I reach the level of enlightenment these girls are on?
They just forgive everyone in like, five seconds?
FIVE YEARS LATER?
Mrs Rolli… Mrs Roee… Mrs Ross…?
Who the hell married Ali?
How did she become a teacher in five years when she hadn’t even graduated?
WHO’S HERE?
UBER A?
What happened to Mona?
Mr D?
Jason?
CeCe?
Jenna?
Lesli?
Lucas?
Andrew?
Noel?
Melissa?
Wren?
Paige?
Tippi?
Varjack?
Eddie Lamb?
Grunwald?
THE WINE MOMS?
Did the wine moms ever get out of the basement?
WINE MOMS????!!!!!
