Although Season 6B won’t begin until January 12, the first four minutes of the premiere were revealed at New York Comic Con on Friday, and have been shared exclusively with Buzzfeed. As with ever snippet of Pretty Little Liars, I have a lot of questions:
1. Seriously, how is Alison a teacher?
2. She didn’t complete two or three years of high school?
3. Parents in America won’t let their kids read textbooks with vaginas in them, why would they let Alison teach their kids?
4. Plus she was a crazy bellend for absolutely ages?
5. Is it possible to grow out of psychopathy?
6. And dressing like a frumpy soccer mom?
7. Alison looks younger than her students?
8. Ah, Dr Rollins?
9. Didn’t she write Mrs Rollins on the board at the end of the last episode?
10. So those two will get married before the other Liars turn up?
11. What?
12. Dr Rollins is a psychiatrist/ court postman?
13. You would have thought she’d have written these letters before hand?
14. Wow, I’ve been to Washington DC and I don’t remember it being that green screeny?
15. Has Aria written a book because I wouldn’t be interested in a book Aria wrote if you threw it at me?
16. Aria still can’t dress herself then?
17. What in the name of God does ‘Ostinato’ mean?
18. Does it mean ‘I’m in jail because I keep boning underage girls lol’?
19. “We understand each other better than any other people in the world”?
20. Considering the Liars have spent the years lying to each other I would disagree?
21. Oooh, what’s that noise, does Hanna have a cat?
22. OH MY GOD WHY IS THERE A CHILD?
23. Where is Caleb?
24. Where is Toby?
25. WHERE ARE THE WINE MOMS?
26. How is Hanna supposed to afford first class tickets?
27. She’s supposed to be about my age and I can’t afford raffle tickets?
28. “Someone I love”… Why wasn’t Ali actually murdered in the first place because I would have preferred that?
29. Oh wow, big dreams Em, nice bartending job?
30. Is that a themed bar downtown or the cheapest tropical set in the history of time?
31. Do you also like getting caught in the rain Emily?
32. Are you into yoga?
33. Do you have half a brain?
34. How does tipping in America actually work?
35. Five minutes that can change the whole world?
36. Well, I suppose that’s possibly considering CeCe was an absolute psycho for years, almost killed the girls on multiple occasions, kidnapped them and kept them in a dollhouse, and only got five years before an appeal?
37. JUSTICE (??????)
I swear to God if we have to sit through a ‘Charlotte is really a good person and we should forgive her‘ plot line I’m going to go commit myself to Radley.
