I have been ill all weekend. As a student, the only times i actually have to myself, the only times not contemplating syntax structure and who’s hacking into who’s phone is obviously the weekend. and tuesdays. and fridays. actually, most days if i’m honest. Anyway before I undermine our countries’ fine hardworking student reputation, here are some things to fill your weekend with if you are full of man-flu and don’t want the precious time go to waste:
- Make everyone else you know ill.
Complaining by yourself is sad, spending your time complaining with other equally annoyed people is what the civilised world is based upon. -
Build a tissue fort.
When it feels like your insides are emptying out through your nose, you can never have enough tissues. -
Record yourself singing.
You will sound all deep and tormented. You’ll be famous in no time. -
Blame everything you do on the cough syrup.
You spilt a cup of tea on your dog? Syrup made you dizzy. You ran up the street shouting “i’m Jesus, praise me! i’m made out of cornflakes!” syrup made you delusional. -
Play phlegm basketball.
Easy, got an abundance of used tissues? Choose a target, aim and throw. After, claim you are too ill to clean up when caught chucking your snot about. Blame it on the syrup. -
Drink every energy drink and caffeine ridden beverage you can find.
Legal high. -
Go to the pub.
In your dressing gown. And slippers. Because you can. -
Ask people to swap lungs with you.
Your’s are obviously not working properly. -
Create a sauna in your bathroom.
Make all the doors and windows air tight, leave the shower on full heat for a few hours. -
Create a voicemail message informing everyone who rings you that your patient zero in the impending zombie apocalypse.